Necromance in the Air - Chapter IX (fiction)
Retract this!
When we last left Felix’s former left hand had fled under an office desk while Lucy hid on top of the desk and Felix watched on in terror. Debs, our necromantic technician had appeared in the office doorway. Meanwhile, Daniel was running from the man in the van and his monstrous assistant…
If you’ve no idea what’s going on, start here-
The woman in the doorway looked from Felix to Lucy over the top of her glasses and shook her head. The tentacle creature froze under the desk. Either it sensed the tension, or it was just waiting. One of the strip lights on the ceiling flickered and went out with a sad buzz.
Felix stood still, cradling his severed arm, eyes wide as the newcomer entered. Less emotion on his face than a wooden spoon.
Lucy shifted her foot, and a mug toppled over and rolled over the edge of the table, landing with a ‘thunk’ on the office carpet tiles. Dregs of cold coffee pooled around it.
“Well?” the woman finally said.
“Debs. I didn’t realise you were on nights,” Felix said, his voice flat, his face expressionless.
“Why would you know?” The woman, Debs, said. “It’s not like you ever paid any interest to my life, anyway. Yes, I’m on nights now, Felix. I got promoted, not that you’d give a shit. It went out on a company wide email. There was even a minor fact file with it. Did you read it, send congratulations? I passed the level five examinations, first woman under thirty to do it. That’s impressive, Felix, shattering glass ceilings. You didn’t even think it was weird our paths never seemed to cross in here anymore? No? What a shock. I don’t have time for this. Why was there a power surge?”
“Um, I tripped over a cable?”
“You tripped over a cable?”
“The day shift had left a head with his jaw on the floor, so I fixed it and it all went a bit wrong,” Felix said, with a wince.
“Well, aren’t you a bloody hero? Who’s that woman cowering on the desk?” Debs said, waving in Lucy’s direction without removing her glare from Felix. “Are you new?” She asked, finally glancing towards her.
“Um,” Lucy said, trying to form elusive words. “I’m Lucy, sorry, I mean Felicity. I mean, my friends call me Lucy, but technically, it’s Felicity, but I mean, if you’re also calling me Lucy, that’s fine—whatever you prefer.”
Debs’ mouth twisted as she shook her head. “Well, you’re clearly full of it, Lucy or Felicity. We don’t take temps here. Who are you really?”
“Oh.” Lucy said, still trying not to move a muscle. “There must’ve been some kind of mistake. Is this not Armitage’s emergency insurance call centre? I was told to come—”
“How did you get into the building?”
“I, uh... just walked in?”
“We’re locked in. You’re clearly a liar, but then you’ll fit right in with Felix here, won’t you?” Debs said with a wave of her free hand. “Felix, what the hell are you playing at? This woman is clearly some kind of interloper.”
“Could we focus on more immediate things?” Lucy said. “I’ve just cut off his arm and there’s a creature under this desk.”
“Well, little miss interloper.” Debs said. “Felix clearly used some accursed polymer infused based aloe vera with inter-dimensional transitive properties as moisturising cream, or something, didn’t he? I’d pretend to be surprised, but frankly, I’m not. He can’t even use a bloody washing machine. How’d you expect him to look after a room full of reanimated heads?”
Felix groaned. “I can use a washing machine fine, Debs, I just didn’t—”
“Didn’t think, exactly. That’s the issue. My lab coat’s pink, Felix. What self-respecting necromancer goes around in Barbie-core? It hardly speaks to a level of dark professionalism, does it?”
Felix’s mouth opened and closed until he uttered. “It was cute—”
“Fuck you. And for the record, this is a nice pink, but I’m not summoning demon babies. Where’s the rest of his arm?”
“Under the desk,” Lucy said. “Did you say reanimated heads—”
“I assume you mean under the desk within a containment field surrounded my a salt barrier?”
“Um, no? I don’t…I don’t know what those things are.”
“Jesus on a pogo stick eating lemon sorbet. Felix, you’ve absolutely out done yourself this time.”
Felix’s eyes had glazed over as he stumbled forward.
“Felix.” Debs snapped. “You don’t get to go into shock right now.”
“He’s just lost his arm,” Lucy said.
“His arm? Hah! He’ll be fine. But his love life? Completely screwed. Or should I say, not screwed at all anymore? Because he’s a wanker, you get it?”
“I got it, yes. You seem very angry, but shouldn’t we all be more worried about—”
“His arm?”
“Yes? It was trying to attack us.”
Debs looked up at the ceiling and shook her head. Then she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She gave Felix one more disgusted look as he finally collapsed, then turned to the desk where Lucy was perching. She crouched down to peer underneath it. “Hello there. Who’s a good void creature? There’s no need to be scared. Come on out, come on now. Here,” she reached into her lab coat, the one with a pink hue, and pulled out a mini Mars bar. “Who wants a little treat? Come on.”
Lucy, still frozen in place, watched on in horror. “It tried to eat us.”
“Unlikely,” Debs said, not taking her eyes off from the creature beneath the desk. “It was likely panicking because you were summoning into the mortal realm. When you cut it off, you basically severed its umbilical cord. So right now, it’s starving, confused and lost.”
“It’s…it’s a monster.”
“I see. Because you’re unfamiliar with it, and it’s a little different, you call it a monster. You’re just a delight, aren’t you?”
“Shouldn’t we just get out of here? Felix has passed out.”
Debs glanced behind her at the prone form of Felix. “He’s fine. At least we don’t have to listen to him whining. I’m going to get this thing out and take it down to the labs. You should climb down, wake him up, and come with me.”
“What…what’s going to happen?”
“Nothing good.”
Meanwhile…
The creature slammed against the door. Metallic tips of its pointed legs clattering on the glass while Daniel, sprawled on the other side of the door, desperately kicked against the inside to keep it shut against the weight of the creature.
“You’re just being rude now, mate,” the man from the van said. His voice was barely audible from the other side of the door. “Just let us in. Might as well make this quick.”
It was only a matter of time before he ran out of the strength to keep the creature at bay, and its master, the bastard from the van, was just watching with a smug smile on his face.
“Why are you doing this?” Daniel shouted.
“Uh, honestly? Because I’m paid to do it? I’m not going to monologue here. This may seem like a big deal for you, but really, you’re not worth the effort.”
“It’ll kill me.”
“That’s its job, so, yup.”
“Fuck you.”
“Hey, there’s no need to be rude. I’m just trying to do my job here, Daniel. Bet you scream at people in retail as well. People like you make—”
“You’ve sent a murderous creature after me—don’t I get a break? Lunch break? Five minutes of quiet? Something?”
Beyond the tinted glass, he could see the man nodding. “You know Daniel, I can see this from your perspective, and I appreciate your frustration—”
“I’m not complaining about my sodding phone provider here. Call the thing off, call it off!”
“No can do, I’m afraid. You see,” the man sucked air in through his teeth and made a clicking noise. “Right. The thing is, your job is security, which means you’re here to protect this place. My job is to get inside this place, so we’re diametrically opposed. I have Esmerelda with me, which gives me a distinct advantage. So, right now, you’re simply behaving like an obstacle to progress. Aren’t you a team player? Daniel, come on now, take one for the team.”
“I’m not on your fucking team.”
“Ugh. More woke nonsense.”
“What? How is not wanting—” he took a breath, trying to force down the panic and frustration as he felt the tears streaming down his face. “How is not wanting to die being woke?”
“Just open the door—”
The creature thudded against the door with a clatter and its strange keening cry. The door slipped open a crack. Something rattled and slid through the door and Daniel felt something hit his waist. “What the?” The ridiculous key chain at his belt had retracted. The door being battered had forced the key shut.
“Daniel,” the van man’s voice was a little closer. “Daniel, what are you doing?”
“I’ve got the key—”
“Don’t you dare lock this door, Daniel. I’m warning you. Don’t you dare—”
With an almighty kick, Daniel smashed both feet against the door and pulled himself to his feet. Key in hand as he jammed it towards the lock, and missed. The door smashed forward and one of the creature’s legs slipped through the gap.
Daniel threw his weight against the door, again, and again, and again. While he fumbled with the keys until he forced it into the lock, but there was no getting the door shut.
“Too late Daniel,” the van man said.
“Oh, what now?” a voice from down the hall shouted. “You’re not supposed to be in here, you know.”
“Help!”
Much more Necromance in the Air on the way! What will happen to Felix’s arm? Will Lucy’s secret be revealed? What is Daniel walking into? Why is Debs such an angry person? IS ANYONE GOING TO MENTION THE UNDEAD HEADS WORKING IN THE CALL CENTRE? All this, and more…
Lucy and Felix are great, but I am LOVING Deb’s!!! And poor Daniel. Loved him asking for a lunch break. 🤣🤣🤣
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏